sitting alone...

...crying.

thats what i have been doing for the past week. i havent talked to him since last week until i had the courage to call him this morning but he didnt pick up. he sent an sms though and i have been crying since. i went to hear Mass. even if i sang along with the choir, it didnt stop me from crying. i kept thinking about him and my future without him. if only God can just take away my life just like that, i will gladly give it back. i just want Him to end my suffering. havent i suffered enough?

i was watching the amazing race last night and i thought that it was something we can do. and im sure we are going to be a very entertaining team. always bickering but im sure we are going to be one of the strongest competitors. too bad this is just going to be a thought. both of us have work that im sure will not allow us to go on hiatus for a month. your wife may not allow you to do this if you are not going to do the race with her. probably i'll just have my own amazing race. a race on how im going to cope with life without you...