the equinox

went out for a run tonight to release some tension goin on inside me. i felt like i can keep running forever. but at some point i had to stop. one, because my leg was starting to cramp. two, because its getting darker by the minute. three, because it started raining.

the equinox, according to a clip i watched online last night, was the signal when summer officially is over. the chinese celebrate it by eating mooncakes and watching the moon. i, on the other hand, celebrated it with tears while looking at the moon. the irony of the evening. the equinox was like something that was telling me that everything now is officially over. like the chinese, i had to do a little celebrating...but i dont feel like doing anything.

i guess i just have to keep myself busy this weekend. get my nails done. clean the house. feed the bird. run a little. hear mass and just head back here to my apartment. im starting to get used to doing stuff by myself. but of course it wouldnt hurt to be with someone. unfortunately, there is no permanent someone for me. im starting to sing "me and my shadow" in my head! sheesh! but im happy that i have a new drive to writting. i keep losing it when im distracted with someone. i guess, writing is my "fall back" guy.

i really dont understand what im feeling now. but when someone tells you "even if my gf is back, youre still mine" youre sure to have no future at all. i guess i just have to play that in my head over and over and over...