walked away

if we ever got to talk again, i'll point out that im not the one who walked away first. you did...

you always tell me that no matter what happens, you will never leave me. you begged me to do the same but i know i'll be labeled as an idiot if i did. you dont see it that way though im not sure how youll be able to not leave me. i know this. i have been to this. its not like i have not been in this kind of situation. this set up is the story of my life.

five days and counting since the last time i talked to you. i was calling you before and you never picked up. you did not even bother to send an sms. not even once. not even a pm. nothing. well, i hope you finally took the straight path. you no longer want to stray to the plans that you have laid out before i came into your life. i cant wait to hear about you reaching the end of the road and the start of a new path to take. im very sure you will be happy once youre there.

i think i know why we managed to not talk to each other anymore. its the indifference we now have inside. my crying phase is slowly dying down. waterworks come less frequently now and im happy for this. it can be tiring at times. my officemates noticed that i became more cranky, short-fused and they were worried. the main reason is that i have a gap with a colleague and they feel that its affecting me. they even offered to help. but i told them that its just a lot went on the past weeks. they should not worry about me and i'll soon be back to my normal self.

but the triggering point of you not talking to me was because you think i had s*x with a college classmate last weekend. the same one that i really slept with last summer. you dont want me to go out with other people while you have a fiancee and will soon marry. you want me to be monogamous to you while you can have your fun whenever you want with your future wife. i told you i dont want to be left at the corner, alone.

now that you have stopped communicating with me, and i know that you dont want to talk to me ever, i feel like im now at peace. i dont like pushing myself to people who dont want me. now its clear. i dont need my friends to constantly nag me about still talking to you. i made myself stop on my own which i think is really rewarding. im happy with myself and i pray the same for you. continue on your path to happiness.